Child Custody: Simply Put, Status Quo is 90% of the Law

Throughout the years, we have heard and watched men try many things to gain custody of their children. We have watched men make a lot of money in an effort to prove that they are the better able parent to support the children. We have witnessed men hire expensive lawyers to argue that Mom is unfit. We have even heard of Dad hiring a private investigator to determine what Mom is doing in her spare time. Unless the situation is dire, none of these methods will gain you custody of your children.

Custody laws are simple. Child custody is based on the best interest of the children. The court places great weigh on the current status quo, that is - where the kids are now and the children’s schedule. The good news is that if you are planning for divorce, you can control the status quo. Spend time with your kids. Start driving them to school in the morning. Help with homework. And participate in after school activities.

Many men are so miserable in their relationship that they choose not to come home and do not see their children prior to a divorce. Of course, these men are thinking that once this stage is over that they will make it up to the kids. The problem is that the court will look to the immediate period of time prior to the divorce and utilize it to establish a custodial plan for your children. Plan ahead with Secret Divorce to get the custody of your kids that you want! Click here for more info

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A Public Service Announcment for Guys about Marriage

recently posted on craigslist:

OK guys, I was talking last night and we got a consensus of at least ten guys that the following is what lies ahead for you in marriage. So think carefully before you pop the question.

Year one: Sex, sex, sex. All you could want. On the floor, in the woods, the car, the beach. Every time you’re alone, you’re banging like rabbits. Nothing is off limits. Nowhere either one of you won’t lick, tickle or tease. Each time you look at her naked body, you are filled with gratitude that God has given you this woman.

Year two: It slows down, but you try to keep it hot just out of fear. You don’t want to become one of those couples. But now there’s no more spontaneous blowjobs. Things are more routine, but that’s OK because you’re still getting it regular and you’re happy.

Years 3-5: Along comes the house and kids. Through it all, you find less and less time or reason to have sex. You go from 7 or more orgasms a week down to probably once a month. You get a bloated beer belly and your love handles turn into big bulges. She gets flabby with baby weight that just won’t go away. The second kid is even worse. She refuses to get stitched up after the second kid and so she’s now so loose you can’t even come inside her. When you do have sex, it’s like fucking a bowl of pudding.

Years 5-7: You decide to get back in shape, to try to revive your sex life. You get trimmed down at the gym, almost to where you were before marriage. She gives it a half-hearted effort, but can’t make much progress. She refuses to wear any lingerie you buy her, instead coming to bed in a T-shirt (if you’re lucky) or a torn up set of PJs. And you now have to beg and schedule sex, which is cold and automatic. You now are masturbating regularly. In the shower, in the bathroom at work, anywhere, anytime you have a private moment. But the effect is minimal and you are constantly horny. For the first time, you will contemplate divorce. You’ll visit web sites about it and perhaps skim a book in the bookstore about divorce.

Years 7-9: You find yourself staring in amazement at this woman and trying to remember when she was hot. Want a preview? Picture your girlfriend, now thicken up her arms by a third. Picture her ass all flattened and her legs thicker and more muscular. When you do convince her to make love, she usually quickly gets on her knees for you to enter her from behind and asks you not to fuckup her cold cream while you’re doing her. She’s dry as a bone and the scent of unwashed ass wafts up as you’re trying to bang her. She is hoping for another baby, but it seems unlikely. Your stomach churns at just the thought. By now you’ve had an affair or two. Maybe a crazy chick at the office or a couple hookers now and then, but the stress of it is too much. You are in disbelief that you are actually now masturbating in bed beside her as she snores.

Year 9: It’s over. You occasionally score some outside poontang, but it’s expensive. Your wife now openly scorns any advances you make. If you suggest she get in shape, she labels you a woman-hater. Real men like women with curves, not sticks. Curves, sure, you think, but not roll after roll of blubber. She has stopped shaving, so that if you try to go down on her the hair is everywhere, matted and full of snarls. You hope to God she’s banging someone on the side, but you know it’s unlikely. You try to titty fuck her, but she doesn’t like that. There’s now no way to have an orgasm while you’re actually touching her.

Year 10: You can’t sleep through the night. Even masturbating doesn’t help. You surf the Web or drink into the wee hours, praying for death’s sweet release to come and take you or her. You’re considering divorce. You’ve talked with a divorce lawyer, but after he lays out the reality for you, you know that can’t afford divorce unless you’re prepared to live in your parent’s basement while all your income goes toward maintaining your wife and kids. Plus, you love the kids. You can’t bear the thought of splitting up their family. Your future stretches before you like a desert, baking and sucking the life out of anything that tries to cross it.

Click here for more info

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Hiding Assets in Divorce

For most men, secret divorce planning means withdrawing a large chunk of change from the bank and entrusting it to a close friend or family member to hold until after the divorce.

Hiding cash or assets of any significant value from your wife. Can end up costing you more than you considered. Men found guilty by judges of hiding assets are often punished by being ordered to relinquish the whole asset to their wives.

Divorce Lawyers and Judges know the methods of hiding cash that are the hardest for the wife’s attorney to prove in court.

None of the suggestions in SecretDivorce are illegal and hiding cash and assets in divorce is illegal. Further Information regarding how men get caught hiding cash is available in the SecretDivorce member’s area. Click here for pricing
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If You Think Your Wife Won’t Take You to the Cleaners…

Amy Botwinick, Author of the ‘girlfriend’s guide,’ “CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DIVORCE: The Road To Finding Your Happily Ever After”

an excerpt:

“The thought of your marriage breaking up can be emotionally overwhelming for you and your family. The most important thing you can do as you face this challenge is to make yourself your top priority. Making yourself your number one priority may sound selfish but it’s going to be all about you being strong enough to be the glue to hold it all together. As you now face becoming head of your new family structure, your children are waiting for you to take the lead and they will gain their strength and courage from your attitude and perception of their new life,”.

Protect your position in life with Secret Divorce. When couples divorce most women are consistently urged by friends, co-workers, and self help books to keep sympathies and consideration of the husband out of their minds during divorce. Make YOURSELF the number one priority by simply securing your future in the event of divorce. Sign up for SecretDivorce. Click here for pricing

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Forgotten Kebabs Sparks Divorce

Arab News

MAKKAH, 14 April 2006 — A case of forgetfulness led to a divorce, the daily Okaz reported. A wife asked her husband to pick up three kilos of kebabs for a dinner party. The husband mistakenly brought home only two kilos. Big mistake. Whatever marital stress was brewing broke like a dam. One kilo of kebabs became the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. A fight ensued. The next day the woman went to court and petitioned for divorce. The report did not mention precisely how uncomfortable the dinner guests must have been.

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Marriage Success Related to How Long you Dated

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“You can have a happy marriage after any length courtship,” says Ted Huston, Ph.D., professor of human ecology and psychology at the University of Texas. However, not every tempo is created equal. Huston has spent 15 years studying the relationship between courtship length and marital success and has found that the closer a couple’s courtship is to average length (two years, four months), the more successful the union.
While both very fast and very slow to marry couples are more likely to divorce than couples with an average-length courtship, the whirlwind pairs tend to remain married longer than the feet-draggers, staying hitched more than seven years on average. Why? “They start off on such an emotional high of passion that they’re reluctant to give it up when problems arise,” Huston says. The drawn-out-courtship couples, on the other hand, “often hope marriage will improve their relationship, and when it doesn’t, they quickly conclude it isn’t going to work,” he says.

If You Dated Less Than One Year
Who plunges into marriage after dating a year or less? Couples who marry quickly fall into one of two camps: Some are ultra-passionate and impulsive pairs, who top a torrid romance with rushed nuptials; the others are pragmatic, cut-to-the-chase couples, who may be on a timetable (due, say, to a biological clock), explains Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (New Page, 2002). “In successful instances, they’re clear about what they want and have the communication skills to find out quickly if the other person feels the same,” says Tessina.
Wanna guess which of these two types of pairs you’re more likely to see in divorce court? Yep, the couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. “The more passionate the courtship, the less likely the marriage is to last,” says Huston. After an overly idyllic courtship, these couples end up disillusioned, which often leads to marital problems. Another challenge for superfast couples is that “you’re marrying in the ‘honeymoon stage,’ when you see each other with rose-colored glasses, and the other can do no wrong,” says Catherine Burton, M.A., a marriage and family therapist in Dallas. However, couples who move quickly because they’ve found someone with standout-spouse qualities — being even-tempered, respectful and thoughtful — tend to have strong marriages.

If You Dated One to Three years
Couples who cruise through courtship at an average speed are most likely to be easygoing and levelheaded. Your stint as boyfriend and girlfriend lacked the drama that delays nuptials and the impetuousness that leads to presto engagements. You’re way more moderate, which may not make for the wildest stories, but “you don’t need so much drama in a marriage,” notes Huston. “Couples who dated one to three years before marrying develop an easy romantic friendship during their courtship. If you see it as a friendship, you miss the important romance element, but if you see it as a romance, you miss the essential friendship part.”
An ordinary courtship often precedes an extraordinary marriage, says Huston. Couples who progress at a steady pace tend to have sweet, low-key courtships followed by close and harmonious marriages. Unlike the speed daters, you’ve had the benefit of testing the waters with each other through key stages and you’ve had time to realize just how much you can lean on your partner.

If You Dated More Than Three Years
Fun- and freedom-lovers often end up taking it slow. Chances are that the two of you enjoy partying and traveling with your friends and prefer group outings to romantic date nights. But another type of couple can be slow to wed: That would be cautious folks (often because of being burned in the past). And the fact is, that’s not a bad thing, say the experts. “If you really want to know a person’s true nature, watch his actions over time,” says Burton. If you aren’t gun-shy and didn’t meet young, though, there’s a chance you’ve had a rocky relationship or a commitment issue slowing you down.
Okay, you already know the bad news: The slowest to marry tend to be the quickest to split. Huston found that pairs who had a long and tumultuous courtship (in other words, not merely drawn out but also full of drama) tended to be “early exiters,” divorcing within a few years of marriage. Why would couples who moved so cautiously toward the altar be so quick — and decisive! — about throwing in the towel? “It turns out that one of the main reasons for a long courtship is a deep ambivalence about marriage itself or about the person they’re marrying,” says Huston. And if you lived together, the cards may be more stacked against you. “Recent research has found that couples who lived together have a higher divorce rate than those who didn’t,” says Burton. The possible reason, she speculates, is that living together may create a template of sorts for a relationship with no commitment.

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7 Kinds of Sex

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex:

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.

This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for a short time
and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for a long time.
Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you
pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you.”

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex

This means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and
Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.

This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to
court and screws you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least…
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.

You get a little each month. But not enough to live on.

At this point you need Secret Divorce

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Hubby’s Naked Revenge

A husband took revenge on his unfaithful ex-wife by selling 200 sexy photos of her on eBay.

The man offered the CD snaps of blonde Linsey, 24, at £4.99 ($8.50) each, reports the Mirror.

Within 24 hours all the pictures had been bought. The seller, from Wales, wrote on the internet site: “She was playing away with my so-called best friend and now it’s payback time.”

A spokesman for eBay said: “We saw no reason to take the listing off.”

Source: Ananova

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Man Prefers Jail to His Wife’s Nagging

A man sentenced to nine months of house arrest begged a judge to jail him instead because he couldn’t stand his wife’s nagging. Algerian Ahmed Salhi, 24, was sentenced to a nine month curfew at home with his Italian wife in Ferrara, northern Italy.
The Algerian went back to court after a week and begged the judge to jail him because he could not bear his wife’s nagging.

Salhi was sentenced to nine months house arrest after breaching immigration regulations.

But he turned up at his local courtroom and begged to be taken into custody because he said he could no longer stand living with his wife, and would rather be behind bars, Corriere della Sera reported.

He said: “I need some peace.” A local court agreed to the Salhi’s request and he has been jailed for the rest of his sentence.

Source: Ananova

When he gets out he needs Secret Divorce

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Consequences of Hiding Cash

PHILADELPHIA - A millionaire jailed for more than a decade for contempt in his divorce case continues to block efforts to trace his missing assets and should remain jailed, a three-judge panel ruled.

H. Beatty Chadwick, 68, is believed to hold the record for time served in a U.S. civil contempt case.

He was jailed in 1995 for allegedly hiding $2.5 million in overseas banks during a bitter divorce. Since then, a series of judges have told him he could go free once he tells the court what happened to the money, but Chadwick hasn’t budged, the judges said.

Chadwick, a former corporate lawyer, maintains he lost the money in an overseas investment. Experts say it would now be worth more than $8 million.

In the latest ruling in the meandering case, a three-judge Delaware County panel concluded that the most recent court-ordered financial probe did little to resolve questions about the money. Chadwick, while claiming cooperation, did not give investigators full power to follow the money trail overseas, the judges said.

“Defendant Chadwick’s lack of cooperation undermined the entire investigation, invalidating any conclusions or recommendations,” the judges wrote in their ruling last month.

The ruling kicked aside the recommendation of a retired judge who believed Chadwick was being cooperative and should be released.

In contrast, the presiding judges found little change in Chadwick’s stance.

Chadwick’s lawyer, Michael Malloy, said Tuesday he will appeal. He said that lawyers for Chadwick’s ex-wife, painter Barbara Jean “Bobbie” Chadwick, did not rebut their expert testimony. She now lives in Maine under a different name.

Sign up for SecretDivorce (click here for pricing) to learn more about the consequences of hiding cash.

Remember that no advice provided in SecretDivorce is illegal.

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