Successful Divorce Planning For Men. Divorce Blog.

Fathers often ask us if they can gain joint custody of their kids in a divorce. The answer is simple: Did you jointly share in the care of your children and can you prove it?

Child custody laws vary from state to state, but always are based on the same principles. Basically the principles are that children should have contact with both parents and that contact should be as consistent as possible. Of course there are times when contact with both parents is not appropriate such as when drugs or abuse are involved.

Therefore, the status quo of the parties prior to a divorce is extremely important. Secret Divorce not only teaches you how to establish a beneficial status quo, but what steps you can take to obtain evidence to prove the status quo immediately prior to your divorce. Protect your relationship with your children by learning the law and following the tricks and techniques provided by Secret Divorce.

The name Secret Divorce derives from our advice to secretly plan for your divorce while still married. When still married, we advise you to learn about the law and how it will affect your case. We suggest that you establish a status quo which allows you to pay a reduced amount of child support and alimony and get the child custody orders that you want. Finally, Secret Divorce allows you to protect your assets.

Why Plan for Divorce Secretly?
If your wife learns of your intent to divorce, she will most likely run to the closest attorney and immediately file for divorce. It is also possible that your wife may attempt to obtain domestic violence restraining orders against you to evict you from your home and keep you away from your children. You need to keep your divorce plans secret until you have executed the tricks and techniques that you learn from Secret Divorce. Don’t get caught in the divorce process unprepared.

Women all over the country are obtaining domestic violence restraining orders at record numbers. Why? Domestic violence restraining orders are no longer only for men that actually beat their wives. Domestic violence laws continue to become more and more liberal. In California, destroying property is now considered domestic violence. For instance, if a husband gets angry and rips up a photo- domestic violence!

Why do women want domestic violence restraining orders? Simple: a quick and easy way to get their husband out of the house, gain full custody of the kids without Dad even getting visitation, and huge support payments from a sympathetic judge.

When a wife asks an attorney how she can get her husband out of the house, the attorney’s next question is about domestic violence. Do you get the picture? Do not become another statistic. Secret Divorce teaches men how to protect themselves from false domestic violence allegations while planning a successful divorce.

Two men are on the golf course ready to tee off. One man turns to the other and asks, “Do you know why divorce is so expensive?” The other man ponders: the attorney’s fees, the child support and alimony payments, or the money that his wife “earned” while she was out shopping all day long during their marraige? Finally, the first man says, “Because it is worth it.” Both men laugh.

The National Center for Health Statistics recently released a report which found that 43
percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. About 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women’s first marriages may end in divorce for these age groups. The likelihood of a divorce is lowest for men and women age 60, for whom 36% of men and 32 percent of women may divorce from their first marriage by the end of their lives.

According to the Center for Disease Control’s National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce. But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96% of Americans express a personal desire for marriage, and almost three-quarters of Americans believe marriage is a life long commitment.

Community property originally derived from Spanish law. The following states have community property laws:
Arizona
California
Idaho
Louisiana
Nevada
New Mexico
Texas
Washington
Wisconsin

What is Community Property?

Community property law is a method of dividing property. Under community property laws, all property acquired during a marriage is equally divided between the spouses and each spouse has a one-half interest in all such property. Property either party had prior to the marriage and property acquired by one spouse during the marriage by gift or inheritance is considered an exception to community property law because it is separate property.

How Does Community Property Affect Your Divorce Case?

Many men in community property states wrongly believe that their assets do not belong to their wives because the assets were purchased solely from their income. Under community property laws, all income of either party is community property and owned equally by the parties.

Retirement assets, such as pensions, 401(k)s ,and IRAs are often of grave concern to men facing divorce. Clearly, any retirement earned before marriage is a man’s separate property and his wife would have no interest in that portion of his retirement. However, retirement earned during the marriage is community property and therefore both parties would own a one-half interest in it.

Learning the law and how it will affect your divorce is imperative to successful divorce planning. SecretDivorce.com teaches you to determine how you would fare today in a divorce and then provides hundreds of tricks and techniques to improve your divorce outcome in the future. With proper education and planning any man can successfully divorce and save thousands of dollars.

Many men ask, what, if anything they should tell their children about their pending divorce. Children should not be burdened by the issues in your divorce. Speaking to your children about your divorce or your wife in a negative light usually backfires.

Courts do not appreciate involving the children in these adult issues. Children should be informed that both Mom and Dad love them and will always be there for them. They should also be informed about a pending divorce with Mom and Dad both present. Often books are helpful for children to understand that divorce will not affect their relationship with each parent. Dinosaur’s Divorce is one such book.

Calendars specifically marking days that the children will see both parents is also helpful for children facing a changing schedule. Children need to be reassured that they will be able to maintain their relationship with both parents.

Men facing divorce often ask whether child support and alimony are deductable on their federal taxes. Child support is not tax deductable.

Generally, alimony or spousal support is taxable to the wife and tax deductable to the husband. IRS regulations are very complicated. A written court order is one requirement of the IRS regulations. If you are paying support voluntarily without an order, consider preparing a stipulation and order to ensure that your alimony or spousal support will be deductable. Always consult with an attorney and an accountant to ensure that your alimony or spousal support will be deemed tax deductable by the IRS.

SecretDivorce includes further information regarding tax. Click here for a tour

The Successful Divorce Planning for Men Divorce Blog is pleased to present the second in a series of real life stories of men living through divorce. In each case, we will explore how a particular man handled his divorce. We hope that men will learn from the examples presented and gain valuable insight from this divorce advice.

One Man’s Divorce Success:

Bill knew that he was headed for divorce court when his wife began “working late” and was clearly having an affair. Rather than confront his wife, he consulted with an attorney. Bill held his anger at home and continued to go about his daily business. Bill worked as a police officer and worked a significant amount of overtime. Bill stopped working the overtime. He started picking up his kids after school and helping them with homework. Bill reduced his income from $78,000 a year to $52,000. To do this, Bill had to reduce his retirement contribution significantly. He kept a diary of the time that he spent with his children as well as the late nights that his wife was not home taking care of the kids.

After Bill established a reduced income and his role as care giver to the children, Bill filed for divorce. At trial, Bill paid little child support and alimony because his income had been reduced. Most importantly, Bill received a 50/50 child custody order.

The Successful Divorce Planning for Men Divorce Blog advice:

1. Bill’s story would not have been possible without his cool demeanor and well thought out plan. Rather than explode, men should consult with counsel and prepare for divorce secretly.
2. Bill’s plan required that he stop working all overtime. The small amount of cash that overtime pay provides a man today is not worth the years of support he may be required to pay in the future. Reducing retirement contributions or dipping into savings while executing divorce plans is advisable.
3. Finally, Bill put the time in with his kids while his wife was out. The court seeks to maintain the status quo of the children. Time spent with the children before the divorce is filed is of great importance.

Bill’s story is one of successful divorce planning. SecretDivorce will teach you hundreds of other tricks and techniques to enable you to reduce your child support and alimony, protect your assets, and increase your custodial time with your children. It is never too early to educate yourself regarding divorce preparation.