Divorce Regrets

The Successful Divorce Planning for Men Divorce Blog is pleased to present the first in a series of real life stories of men living through divorce.  In each case, we will explore how a particular man handled his divorce.  We hope that men will learn from the examples presented and gain valuable insight from the divorce advice presented.

A Man’s Divorce Regrets: Little Child Custody and High Child Support and Alimony Payments

Chris had spent years in an unhappy marriage for the sake of his kids.  Chris’ wife was so controlling and obnoxious, he dreaded coming home at night.  Chris’ wife eventually filed for divorce with the most expensive lawyer in town.  He telephoned a few lawyers, but thought that the retainers were too high.  After years and years of dealing with his wife, Chris did not want any further confrontation.  He believed that his wife would get custody of the kids, that he would be required to move out of the family house, and pay child support and alimony equal to what he was contributing to the household during the marriage.  Chris believed that paying high support payments would benefit his kids.  He met with his wife’s attorney and agreed to his wife’s terms and within two months of the divorce papers being filed, Chris was out of the house visiting with the kids on alternate weekends.

Fast forward a year, and Chris was living in a one bedroom apartment unable to afford a room for the kids.  He wanted to have the kids over more often, but his wife would not allow it because he did not have a room for them to sleep in.  Chris was having trouble paying for food on the weekends that the kids visited.  He was unable to go out with his buddies very often because money was very tight.  When Chris dropped off the kids, he would often see his wife’s new boyfriend staying in what was once his house with his kids.  He became more and more bitter regretting his decision not to contest the divorce.

The Successful Divorce Planning for Men Divorce Blog advice:
 

1. Chris’ most serious mistake was that he did not educate himself regarding divorce law.  Chris should have visited with a divorce lawyer for a free consultation.  If Chris had spoken to a lawyer, he would have learned that joint custody is becoming more and more prevalent. 
2. A lawyer would have advised Chris on the proper amount of child support and alimony.  Chris should not have agreed to pay any additional support, but he could have always given his wife additional monies if he saw fit or spent the money on the children.
3. Chris also should have sought some of the equity in the family house in the divorce.  Although it is nice to keep the kids in the house, Chris was unable to afford a room for his children.  Chris’ children would have been more comfortable if they had their own room at Chris’ residence.
4. Even after receiving some divorce advice from an attorney, if Chris and his wife agreed on a divorce settlement, Chris should have taken the papers to an attorney and paid for an hour of the attorney’s time to review the divorce agreement.  Protect yourself by educating yourself early before it is too late.      

This entry was posted on Friday, January 20th, 2006 at 3:19 pm and is filed under Real Life Divorce Cases. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.