How To Tell the Children You Are Getting Divorced
Steps For Telling the Children You Are Getting Divorced
- No matter what age the child is, it is important that the parents tell the child what is going on.
- If there is a parent that has played the main parenting role, then it would be more logical for that parent to break the news to the child. The news of something so traumatic should come from the parent that the child feels most comfortable with.
- It is very important that no blame be assigned to either parent for the separation, because this may indirectly give the child a reason to choose sides. It is unhealthy for the child to feel that there is a good and bad parent.
- As the parent you must explain to the child that they are not to blame for the divorce. Initially most children feel that they are to blame for their parents divorce. The parent must explain that the divorce is between the parents and not the child and parents. If this is explained correctly then the child will also realize that if they are not responsible for the divorce, then they cannot be responsible for their parents getting back together.
- Don’t tell your children that you are going to get a divorce unless you and your spouse are absolutely certain that the decision is final.
- It is important that you tell your children about the divorce when you can be together for a while. A non-school day would probably be the most preferred time, because they are going to feel very alone and they will need someone there to feel a sense of safety and security.
- After you have told them the news, you may want to give them some idea what they should expect in the future. They have just received news about the divorce so it’s important not to get into too much detail. A child may want to know about school arrangements or they may want to know about their future living arrangements.
- If they ask “why?” this usually means why is this happening to me. It does not mean why are you getting a divorce, The children initially really don’t need to know why. Whatever you tell them should not be in great detail. That’s really all they need.
- Be sure to ask them if they have any questions about anything. They may have an incredible amount of questions but will not ask them at the time, so remember to ask them this as time passes.
This may be a very difficult thing for parents to have to do, but it absolutely needs to be done. The child/children need to know what is going on and what is going to happen to them. Remember that children can thrive in a divorced home provided that both parents are honest with the child/children, and that they are their whenever the child/children needs them.