Successful Divorce Planning For Men. Divorce Blog.

Two men are on the golf course ready to tee off. One man turns to the other and asks, “Do you know why divorce is so expensive?” The other man ponders: the attorney’s fees, the child support and alimony payments, or the money that his wife “earned” while she was out shopping all day long during their marraige? Finally, the first man says, “Because it is worth it.” Both men laugh.

The National Center for Health Statistics recently released a report which found that 43
percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. About 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women’s first marriages may end in divorce for these age groups. The likelihood of a divorce is lowest for men and women age 60, for whom 36% of men and 32 percent of women may divorce from their first marriage by the end of their lives.

According to the Center for Disease Control’s National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce. But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96% of Americans express a personal desire for marriage, and almost three-quarters of Americans believe marriage is a life long commitment.

Community property originally derived from Spanish law. The following states have community property laws:
Arizona
California
Idaho
Louisiana
Nevada
New Mexico
Texas
Washington
Wisconsin

What is Community Property?

Community property law is a method of dividing property. Under community property laws, all property acquired during a marriage is equally divided between the spouses and each spouse has a one-half interest in all such property. Property either party had prior to the marriage and property acquired by one spouse during the marriage by gift or inheritance is considered an exception to community property law because it is separate property.

How Does Community Property Affect Your Divorce Case?

Many men in community property states wrongly believe that their assets do not belong to their wives because the assets were purchased solely from their income. Under community property laws, all income of either party is community property and owned equally by the parties.

Retirement assets, such as pensions, 401(k)s ,and IRAs are often of grave concern to men facing divorce. Clearly, any retirement earned before marriage is a man’s separate property and his wife would have no interest in that portion of his retirement. However, retirement earned during the marriage is community property and therefore both parties would own a one-half interest in it.

Learning the law and how it will affect your divorce is imperative to successful divorce planning. SecretDivorce.com teaches you to determine how you would fare today in a divorce and then provides hundreds of tricks and techniques to improve your divorce outcome in the future. With proper education and planning any man can successfully divorce and save thousands of dollars.

Many men ask, what, if anything they should tell their children about their pending divorce. Children should not be burdened by the issues in your divorce. Speaking to your children about your divorce or your wife in a negative light usually backfires.

Courts do not appreciate involving the children in these adult issues. Children should be informed that both Mom and Dad love them and will always be there for them. They should also be informed about a pending divorce with Mom and Dad both present. Often books are helpful for children to understand that divorce will not affect their relationship with each parent. Dinosaur’s Divorce is one such book.

Calendars specifically marking days that the children will see both parents is also helpful for children facing a changing schedule. Children need to be reassured that they will be able to maintain their relationship with both parents.

Men facing divorce often ask whether child support and alimony are deductable on their federal taxes. Child support is not tax deductable.

Generally, alimony or spousal support is taxable to the wife and tax deductable to the husband. IRS regulations are very complicated. A written court order is one requirement of the IRS regulations. If you are paying support voluntarily without an order, consider preparing a stipulation and order to ensure that your alimony or spousal support will be deductable. Always consult with an attorney and an accountant to ensure that your alimony or spousal support will be deemed tax deductable by the IRS.

SecretDivorce includes further information regarding tax. Click here for a tour

The Successful Divorce Planning for Men Divorce Blog is pleased to present the second in a series of real life stories of men living through divorce. In each case, we will explore how a particular man handled his divorce. We hope that men will learn from the examples presented and gain valuable insight from this divorce advice.

One Man’s Divorce Success:

Bill knew that he was headed for divorce court when his wife began “working late” and was clearly having an affair. Rather than confront his wife, he consulted with an attorney. Bill held his anger at home and continued to go about his daily business. Bill worked as a police officer and worked a significant amount of overtime. Bill stopped working the overtime. He started picking up his kids after school and helping them with homework. Bill reduced his income from $78,000 a year to $52,000. To do this, Bill had to reduce his retirement contribution significantly. He kept a diary of the time that he spent with his children as well as the late nights that his wife was not home taking care of the kids.

After Bill established a reduced income and his role as care giver to the children, Bill filed for divorce. At trial, Bill paid little child support and alimony because his income had been reduced. Most importantly, Bill received a 50/50 child custody order.

The Successful Divorce Planning for Men Divorce Blog advice:

1. Bill’s story would not have been possible without his cool demeanor and well thought out plan. Rather than explode, men should consult with counsel and prepare for divorce secretly.
2. Bill’s plan required that he stop working all overtime. The small amount of cash that overtime pay provides a man today is not worth the years of support he may be required to pay in the future. Reducing retirement contributions or dipping into savings while executing divorce plans is advisable.
3. Finally, Bill put the time in with his kids while his wife was out. The court seeks to maintain the status quo of the children. Time spent with the children before the divorce is filed is of great importance.

Bill’s story is one of successful divorce planning. SecretDivorce will teach you hundreds of other tricks and techniques to enable you to reduce your child support and alimony, protect your assets, and increase your custodial time with your children. It is never too early to educate yourself regarding divorce preparation.

There are many competent document preparation companies out there.  However, these companies do not provide legal advice and cannot advise you of your rights.  For example, many men seek to modify their child support and alimony and have a document preparation company prepare the paperwork for them.  Often these men are outraged when their child support and alimony are actually increased!  The document preparation companies fail to provide the necessary legal advice to ensure that you do not shoot yourself in the foot at court.  Consult with an attorney regarding the law and your rights in a divorce.

This is the second in a series of divorce advice articles provided by the Successful Divorce Planning for Men Divorce Blog. This divorce advice is provided to expose the inherent flaws and biases in the law and enable men to work within the system to divorce successfully. We provide advice and guidance for men facing divorce to enable them to plan early and avoid the typical pitfalls of divorce court.

Divorce Tips For Men

When a divorce is imminent, most men believe that it is time to start a war and are as aggressive as possible. This is a terrible divorce strategy. Civility costs nothing and can save you thousands of dollars. 

What can you do to be civil in your divorce?  Tell your wife that you intend to file for divorce before she hears it from someone else.  Ensure that you and your attorney always show the utmost considertion for your wife.  For example, rather than send a process server out to your wife’s work or home, consider having your attorney make arrangements to have your wife served at her convenience. 

Why not take an aggressive approach in your divorce?

1. Women are emotional. If you cross a woman, it is likely that she will go out and hire the most expensive lawyer in town and fight over each and every little issue possible.         

2. If your wife is angry and contests each divorce issue, you will have a huge lawyer bill.

3. The longer the divorce process drags out, the worse off you will be.

4. If you have children, you will be required to see and speak to your wife for the rest of your life. Being aggressive in your divorce may create years of hell dealing with a bitter and nasty wife.

Being civil and considerate is the most effective approach to resolve your divorce. Keep in mind that the faster your divorce is over, the faster you will be rid of your wife!         

Click here for a tour of SecretDivorce

There are many angry divorced men out there.  Why are they so angry?  Each man will give you a different song and dance, but basically they each believe that the system is unfair and biased.  That may be somewhat true, but if you look at each and every one of these stories, you will see a common theme.  In general, men do not prepare for divorce.  Most men are a deer in the headlights when they are served divorce papers.  (Yes, 85% of divorces are filed by women.)  Many men “check out” of their marriage– using the garage as the living room, having an affair, or working excessively. Often these men do not even know a divorce is  coming.  Women on the other hand, prepare for divorce.  They learn the law and seek to take advantage of each caveat of the law.  Therefore, by the time a man is served, he is generally out of the race.

Men should plan early for divorce

What can a man do to ensure that he does not become the next statistic?  Educate yourself regarding the law and prepare for divorce with a viable plan.  Consider purchasing SecretDivorce to assist you in planning for divorce.  Use the tricks and techniques of experts to ensure that you execute your plan.  Do not count on a lawyer to make your case.  As you will learn with SecretDivorce, you will be required to make changes in your life prior to telling your Wife you wish to divorce. SecretDivorce techniques reduce child support and alimony payments, increase your child custody, and protect assets. Do not become another angry man because you failed to prepare.  

In short, the answer is yes.  Children can thrive after divorce. To help your children cope with divorce, fathers should continue to maintain significant contact with their children.  On days when a parent does not see a child, there should be telephonic contact at a certain time each day such as after school, after dinner, or before bed.  Fathers should live within close proximity of Mom’s house and the children’s school.  Fathers should attend school activities and request that all school information be forwarded to their address as well as Moms.  Children thrive when parents set aside their differences to work together to co-parent.  Consider having joint birthday parties, consulting on Christmas gifts, and laying down the law together.  If you and your spouse have trouble co-parenting, seek counseling.  It is an excellent idea to have a counselor that you can see from time to time as issues arise.